Twenty Two

I'm one year older now since last time I saw you in case you wanna know, I'm about to say what I'm up to first of all I'm a sluggard movin' slow in a clumsy way some peace of mind is what I want, but that will be the day I've been going with the flow for too long now, this must end running 'round in circles, I've been so far away from myself searching for the energy and the time to make a change in my life instead of watching it pass by, get something done while I'm alive. I'm twenty two, don't know what I'm supposed to do or how to be, to get some more out of me. I'm twenty two, so far away from all my dreams I'm twenty two, feeling blue. I try to activate myself the best I can so that boredom won't catch up with me, i've my daily plan wake up late, then rehearse a bit with the band, I guess it's cool? Later when I'm home again I boil a note or two then I go to bed that's what I do. Afraid that I will be weak forever I can't stay in this shape any longer my life's just another cliche.

It's a little sad how much meaning this Millencolin song has to me. One would look at my life and think I might have a plan. However, I haven't a freakin clue. I just finished my intern hours for school. This is a good thing, but now what!? I can't be at the studio as much as I would like because I have to actually work a job for money. I gotta get paid. Well hey, that's just the way it is.

It scares the ever living loving crap out of me every time I doubt that the career that I paid $14,000 to go to school for is really what I want to do. It makes me sick to think that I made such an amazing girl such as Rachel go through such hardships for nothing. With fear of whining too much, I'll leave it with this: Being a God fearing individual I know that all I have to do is follow the doors that are opened before me and discern when to take that needed first step into the unknown as long as what I'm doing is to bring glory to Him. It's just that it's really scary man. I just need to stay humble I guess.

On that note, I carved the most awesome pumpkin EVER!!! Oh yeah, three exclamation marks just happened. It takes a certain obsession prone person to spend five hours carving a pumpkin. I am of that crippling disposition. But the products are sometimes pleasing. Rachel's pumpkin is also very impressive with much less time wasted. If I could be as talented as she maybe I'd have more time to figure out my life. But look at that pumpkin. Trevor Scott, you've done it again.