This I Believe

​This I believe; God has a plan and we, as imperfect sinful beings, have no comprehension of what that plan is. I’m not just saying we don’t know what God wants from us. He has given us a guide and laid out exactly what we are to do with this life. What I’m saying is we just don’t get it. I also could have said “God has a plan ‘for our lives’”, which he does, however, one thing I believe we need to understand is that God’s plan doesn’t always revolve around us. Maybe some life examples will bring a little clarity.

​I had one other girlfriend before my wife. It was in seventh grade. You don’t expect much from a relationship between two immature junior-highers. However, the whole experience left me with a bad taste for relationships. I was determined not to date again for a long time; not till God himself played matchmaker. I thought this would put the ball in God’s court, like “alright… you got my wish list… I’ll just wait till you drop her in my arms”. But what it really meant was I was going to be critical and hesitant to pursue any deep relationship. This is fine since I am timid by nature and incapable of making any decision whatsoever. But to determine if a girl was worth the time according to God’s will... that’s the tough one. I met my wife in my third year of high school, and didn’t decide that she was that Godly relationship I was waiting for till about six months later. We then began dating and it was another 4 years before I could decide if marrying this girl was the plan God had for my life. I didn’t expect it to be so soon. How could I have known a bad junior-high relationship experience would set me up to evaluate my relationships and ultimately have the right mindset to choose and marry my wonderful and beautiful wife? Glory be to God.

​As a second example, I will offer the story of my career path thus far. For as long as I can remember I’ve loved skiing and wanted to be a professional skier. I was always in the top of my age group in racing. Ski racing, however, is a very expensive sport. It’s not just the thousands of dollars worth of equipment needed, but to stay competitive it requires a lot of expensive training. My family could not afford it, so I was left to my own determination and will. However, in high school I got a little distracted and perhaps devoted a little too much time to the aforementioned girl I had met. I fell far behind competitors and became very discouraged. My second love was music. Maybe I could make a life of music. Sure, everyone has this dream… but our band was going to make it! No? Ok my second band maybe? No? Well I still really like playing music, but I decided maybe a “behind the scenes” job would be more attainable. I went to school in Arizona for audio engineering, and about a year later we were back in our home town where I had aspirations to work as an engineer in the one professional recording studio our county has to offer. It took about a year of interning for me to decide I really didn’t want to work there, or possibly as an engineer at all. I am now returning to school to study computer science. So one might look at all of this, cry a little, and think “what a waste”, but I believe God had more at work here. Not only did these experiences bring character and strength to both me as a person and to my marriage, but I believe God had great purpose for each deviation. For example, it was pointed out to me by a pastor that perhaps we didn’t move back home to accomplish a career in a studio, but instead to be one of the only constant sources of comfort and reassurance for my siblings who were trying to cope with their parents’ divorce. And maybe I didn’t become a professional skier because I have a competitive and sore losing nature, and that’s not who God wanted me to be. If any of my life’s road blocks hadn’t come up, I would not have been blessed the way I have by the people I have, nor would I have had any impact on them as well.

​So, what’s the lesson here? All I can say, and all I can tell myself everyday is love God with all you have (Matt. 22:37), seek his will in all things (Matt. 6:33), and fear the Lord (Job 28:28). We may not be able to comprehend his plans, but if we follow these simple guidelines from his word we might get a glimpse into the wonderful ways he makes us a part of them.

Have another drink then drive yourself home

Last night we were driving home from town. As we passed the North Mt. Shasta on-ramp, a small white car merged on in front of us. At first they were traveling under the speed limit, but soon speed up very rapidly. They also swerved slightly crossing over the right side road line. Rachel and I wondered, "is this guy drunk?" We continued to watch him as he swerved back and forth and proceeded to zoom ahead. I decided to try to catch up and get his license plate number and as Rachel was asking why I was missing our exit, I said we should call it in. I got up to 70 for a while trying to catch him, but it was no use. He was going anywhere from 80 to 100 mph. Just before our next possible exit however, we caught up to him as he must have slown down considerably. So as we passed the truck village exit Rachel got out her phone and dialed 911. The car speed off again and we couldn't see the plates. A ways ahead we saw the driver change to the fast lane to apparently pass two semi trucks. It passed at least one then we saw headlights go straight off the right side of the road. The semi stopped and as I stopped my car behind the truck I was already thinking of the things I might have to do or see and it was freaking me out. Two guys got out of the truck and were shining a flashlight down at the upside-down car. With strong accents they said, "see the fire?" There was a dancing light at the front of the car. One of the guys went and found a fire extinguisher in the truck, but the look on both their faces made it clear they had no idea what to do. So I grabbed the extinguisher and started hiking down to the car as Rachel was making another call about the fire. The gas fumes were so strong I could literally taste it. I was a bit worried the car was going to burst into flames in my face, so I just wanted to put the fire out ASAP. I covered the engine with all the contents of the extinguisher. The guy with the flashlight was half way up the hill giving me light and I guess Rachel was being asked if we could see anybody, which I was making a point of not looking in the car for fear of seeing something horrific. The guy told her "lot of blood" as he pointed towards his head. Now I really wasn't going to look. Having little to no medical knowledge, and knowing trained help was moments away, when the fire was out I was done. I really didn't want to pull someone out and end up paralyzing them for life. Plus I really didn't want to see a severed limb or head. The CHP arrived quickly and got the man out of the car. He seemed to be alright beside the bleeding head. They got statements from the truckers, Rachel and I and we were free to go. So as the story is intense and might sound like I'm awesome, I was really just a scared little girl who was the only one who knew how to use the fire extinguisher. But I feel like I would be more prepared next time. I was caught off guard, but now I feel less scared of a mangled body and more willing to actually see if I could help more. Hopefully I won't have to though.

Who's House?!

So I had some crazy awesome dreams I wanted to preserve. The first dream was about Jeff living with a wealthy family in LA. It was Reverend Run's family. Run's House! I was visiting and Run was taking me around setting me up with contacts and engineering work. The gig that I landed was engineering for Mark Hoppus. Surprisingly the best part of this dream was that Rev Run exhibited the same funny and witty personality portrayed on his show "Run's House". It was awesome.

The second dream was a lot weirder. I was in an inner city community somewhat like the village from the movie "The Village". It was a primitive community with an evil leader portrayed as somewhat of a king figure. There was a large facility that were the confines of the community and venturing out of the walls was forbidden. The facility was immense and contained many rooms with different purposes for pretty much anything you could think of (think Darma Initiative). The story climaxed when the king was on a rampage and for some reason hunting me down to end my life. A friend was about to be wed and I knew the king would have mercy on him. I went to his room where he was preparing and he hid me in a floor vent. The king came around and was so blood thirsty that when he could not find me he killed the friend. I was unable to escape from the vent alone and being that the friend was the only one who knew where I was I was stuck there for a very long time. Eventually the fiance of the friend found the vent and aided my escape. I then began to search the premises for a way out. Much of the facility I had never seen before. There were doors to the outside but each was locked. I went from room to room and noticed there were little spy cameras in every room. As soon as I realized this I knew I had been seen and someone would be on their way. I tried every door in a panic and just as people were rushing down the hall after me I pushed on a door that opened and ran outside. I ran through a lawn and towards a modern city which was right outside the facility.

Man I love dreams!

Dilemma

So I don't illegally download music, nor do I often buy downloads. I like to have a physical copy. Not that it sounds better (which it does), or that a large collection of CD's looks cool displayed (it does), but only purchasing 1's and 0's just doesn't give me the fulfillment I require.

Before this story goes on I feel there is a little necessary background info needed. We are currently saving in order to move away and on to better things. Many of you belong to a certain facebook group whose goal is to have me quit my current job. Well saving is the only way that's going to happen and so every dollar we spend right now we try to take account for. So CD purchases only happen when the need out-ways the guilt.

Ok, on with the story. I was recently made aware of deal on Amazon which offers a few digital albums at an incredibly low price of $5. I was reluctant at first, but a persuasive cousin and dollar amount convinced me. I don't think there would have been anything to regret if it were about any other album, but it just so happens that I bought a digital copy of perhaps the greatest album ever recorded. It's definitely in the top 10 or very possibly top 5. The album is "Mandala" by RX Bandits. There are many other albums I would be fine only owning the digital copy of, but I just feel that I need to obtain a physical piece of this amazing album. So thank you Amazon, Jeff, and the low price of $5, you have put me in quite the dilemma.

http://www.fuel.tv/music?bcpid=5807873001&bclid=1396506072&bctid=53684241001

Top Ten Rainy Day Songs

Messes of Men - mewithoutyou - Brother, Sister
The Boy Who Destroyed The World - AFI - All Hallows EP
The Funeral - Band of Horses -
I Don't Keep With Liars Anymore - The Bled - Found In The Flood
Eye of the storm - Blindside - About A Burning Fire
Down - Blink 182 - Blink 182
There Is - Box Car Racer - Box Car Racer
November Rain - Guns N' Roses - Use You Illusion
Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson - In Between Dreams
Helena - My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge

No particular order and subject to change without notice. But seriously, get all these songs and listen to them on a rainy day. This order is actually a really good listening order. Also, as a rainy day go to, put on some Norah Jones. You can't go wrong.

It sucks how you can't choose your personality sometimes. You can definitely make changes to how you act and think, but you can't control what you like or dislike or the things you hold to value. In that area, you kind of have to just hold on and hope that you don't end up doing something idiotic. I have not had much luck in this area I feel. It seems I am always thinking poorly of my past self for making bad decisions. I guess I never put much thought into it, but I never thought I would come to shake my head at the naive younger self I was. I know there are several examples if I wanted to put myself through thinking about it but one example has come up recently. I was going through a box of random stuff when I came across my graduation cap from high school. I had painted a "straight edge" symbol on the top. It's not that big of a deal... but that the heck!? Why did I think it would be cool to advertise a moral code way of life based in the underground punk scene? If you would have asked me if I was straight edge I would have said, "no, but I don't drink, do drugs, or have pre-marital sex anyway". I just thought it would be cool for some reason. What a dork.

Anyway, it's things like that that make me afraid to do anything for fear that I'll regret it later. It's a weird concept to think about things before you do them with the intention to evaluate how long you thing this particular thing will be cool to you. I think doing this would automatically make it uncool. I guess you just have to go for it, do what you know is right, and don't dwell in the past. I just wish I could see my future self so that I know what he'd approve of me doing now.

On another subject, but something that I'll probably shake my head at myself later for, I built a ski rail out of wood and PVC. I watched a couple youtube videos of people making similar rails, drew up some plans, and built it with my dad. It's pretty sweet looking, but I have yet to use it. It requires a trip up the mountain with my dad's truck to bring down a bed full of snow. I haven't had this kind of time recently and so it sits taunting me. I might not get to hit it until next winter and this makes me sad. I'm in such a panic to get better at skiing that I feel like every moment I'm not doing something to progress is a waste I can't afford. Also, youtube videos pump me up and crush me at the same time. It is very emotional.

The Logic of Crocodiles

Hello blog people.

This blog is about a few things.
1. I've seen a few good movies as of late and I felt it was blog worthy to write about them. One of the movies was Yes Man. I wasn't sure if it would be as funny as Carey's previous movies, but it did not disappoint. I think I was crying when they were at the chicken slaughter house. I also just watched The Thirteenth Floor. This is one of my favorite movies. It's like a sci-fi who done it with a butt-load of moral tension. If you have not seen either of these movies then I suggest you plan in a good block of nothing into your schedule and rent both.

2. I have been exercising with the wife lately. We've been walking a lot. We run this block by our house which is one mile exactly but with some slight inclination change-ups. There really is no point here, I just thought it should be recorded and documented somewhere.

3. I have started listening to Every Time I Die a lot again lately and not sure why I stopped for so long. It's probably because that's all I listened to in Arizona. They are however exquisite. It is just really fun music all around. Check out this video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MivClrvXCpM.
And then check this out... http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/82106/

4. I think one of the worst things about sin is those painful bumps that you get on your tongue. I bet before sin they didn't get those. What the heck are they anyway. If you know please let me know. If I could avoid getting them I would do all I could.

5. I'm seeing Death Cab tonight and it should make for quite a delightful evening.

Peace